A Woman's Worth

In the "Europe" section of The New York Times, I read an article about an Albanian woman who chose to become the man of the house after her father was murdered. She, Pashe Keqi, now 78, was able to do this at the age of 20 by becoming a sworn virgin. She said, "While a woman’s life is worth half that of a man, a virgin’s value is the same: 12 oxen." Her virginity ensured her equality.

That led me to ponder, how many oxen am I worth; and can I still ensure my equality if my virginity is long gone?

In a world of equality, that question would be moot. Or is that moo when dealing with oxen?

American women can tout equality from their L'Oreal locks down to their Jimmy Choo shoes, but they're still only paid 75.3 cents to every dollar a man makes. They are still traditionally defined by their marital status (Miss or Mrs.) before they are as an individual (Ms.). They still often give up their name for a man when they marry, and they still often pay more for a haircut and dry cleaning than a man does (even if they have shorter hair and simpler clothes). They still do not have equality.

What is a woman's worth? Her ability to bear and raise children? To multitask? To bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan?

Women don't have to be like men to have equality, but they have to know that they are worthy of it and they have to see it as an inherent right that they desire. I just wonder if they do.

It's impossible to ensure equality by participating in a tradition that does not promote it. Based on the fact that more than 90% of American women take a man's last name when they marry and go by "Mrs.," it begs the questions: Are women simply not interested in equality or do they not see the connections between their actions and the inequities those actions perpetuate?

Any tradition that promotes inequality is a tradition worthy of reconsideration. Women are amazing and powerful. They are not afraid to have "ah ha" moments and change their lives in an instant. I believe that as more women make the connections between the choices they make and the inequities those choices create, that more women will make new choices.

word count: 400

Source:
New York Times piece By DAN BILEFSKY Published: June 25, 2008.
United States Census Bureau 2003

Female Gendercide

Oprah brought to light the gendercide in India, but it's also happening in China and here in America.

Gendercide is the intentional killing of the XX chromosome, whether it's in the Petri dish, through abortion or murder after birth — as a result of a preference for boys.

In the United States, where gendercide is being practiced under the guise of gender selection for the purpose of "Family Balancing," the exact numbers of boys outnumbering girls are considered confidential. The medical language used in defining gender selection preference can be misleading and is often interpreted and divided into many subgroups, most likely giving the impression that fewer gender selection procedures are taking place than actually are. Even in the United States, the amount of boys being chosen over girls is unclear.

What is clear is that the choice is being made. But why?

It's men and women making these choices, these distinctions. Could it be that couples are turning to science for gender selection to secure a son for the purpose of carrying on the family name? If that's the case, then the choice of a woman taking a man's last name in marriage can be directly linked to the decline of the female population.

This would prove once and for all that something as seemingly insignificant as taking a man's last name is in fact not insignificant at all. Indeed, the taking of a man's last name, and the gender selection of a son over a daughter to carry on that name could, in effect, be the crux of the inequality that all American women face.

How can we stop female gendercide in our country? Perhaps we can by choosing not to participate in the traditions that make gendercide a desirable option for some. If women keep their own last names when they marry (see *What's In A Name? for more info), if we go by "Ms." instead of "Mrs." or "Miss" (see This Ms. Don't Miss The Mrs. for more info), if we give our children our last names, we are practicing equality*. Women have often been the torchbearers of evolution. It is the practice of equality, not the theory of it, that shapes our perceptions and can ensure the balance of nature.

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Sources:
1-26-2004 Newsweek "Girl or Boy? Now you can choose. But should you? The new science of sex selection. Claudia Kalb, Sudip Mazumdar in New Delhi, Sarah Schafer in Beijing and B. J. Lee in Seoul.
National Geographic Ultimate Explorer (Jan, 2004)