Release Party Update

I cannot do the dieting thing. I think it's dangerous on so very many levels: physically, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and even psychically. It creates obsessive compulsive addiction behavior and I am just too old for that s@*t. I'm a grown woman, not a 15-year-old writing in my diary.

I don't want to "lose" anything. I'd like to lovingly release my excess weight so that I can dance again, in a ballet studio, in a leotard and tights, not baggy sweats. I'm too over heated by peri menopausal hot flashes to hide behind clothes. Summer will be here before I know it and it's time to make some serious changes to my body if for nothing else than my own physical comfort level.

The key to healthy change is routine, clean and simple. That comes from balance. I eat what I want (not always so balanced as much as indulgence) and I exercise as much as I can. As of yet, I have seen no change on the scale but I think scales are for weighing produce and despite what the construction workers say, I am not a muy caliente tomatilla.

I judge by the way my clothes feel and most importantly how my spirit feels. I LOVE to move and be physical, my challenge is having the energy to do so. I am sleep deprived. I haven't slept for more than 2 hours straight in nearly three years. One needs sleep to have the energy to move. When I do sleep I use whatever energy reserves I have for my highest priorities and my goal is to make myself one of those priorities.

Here's some notes from January/February on my process:

1-1-09
Tracy Anderson: trainer to Madonna, Gwyneth and now jd smith. I'm using "The Tracy Anderson Method" (Post-Pregnancy Workout DVD). This woman is Casper the friendly sadist. The day after struggling through the first 15 minutes of the routine I awoke with massive back spasms and was out of commission for a week. Note to self: MODIFICATION!


2-1-09
I am doing better. I just have to be really present when I exercise with how my body is feeling. I have way too many health issues to push myself the way others can. I do push myself more than I should with my energy because I always have so much I want to do. I keep thinking if I could just finish all the projects I have going and not start anymore, I will feel a sense of peace and accomplishment and can therefore make space for me to release my excess weight by exercising more and planning my meals better. I know that's probably never going to happen but I act as if it will nonetheless.

The video is good and speaks to me because she was a dancer, as was I, so the way she uses her body ignites my own muscle memory. Having said that, I think these exercises were created ONLY for people at the fitness level of Madonna so I don't know if it's practical for people like me.

2-2-09
Here's my exercise update today, Monday. Thank you for indulging me as an audience it gives me another reason to exercise as I compose a review to you while doing so. I got back on the horse today. Proud of myself for that. But still did not make it through the entire workout. I had to do a lot of modifications and take breaks. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not at her level so I need to honor my level. I am not getting as discouraged as I have in the past. But I do feel a bit of anxiety at her expectations which is that I do the floor routine (still don't know how long it is, maybe 60-90 mins) in addition to the cardio dance routine SIX DAYS A WEEK. For now I am doing as much of the floor routine as I can every other day and "exercise-beach walks" versus "casual-beach walks" on the alternate days. When I get to the point when I can make it through the entire floor routine I will start adding days and once I can do that one six days a week I will start the cardio, may take a month...or so!

This work is not easy and when you have to put a lot of effort into something you don't want to sabotage that effort. When I do her DVD I eat better throughout the day, make better choices because I want to see the fruits of my labor, maybe that fruit is the kind we weigh at home.


2-6-09
I am still with the program but have yet to reach the point where exercise gives me more energy versus less. For now, the workouts are so hard that I am exhausted the next day. I skipped the past two days because of schedule conflicts and when I wanted to do it today and had the energy I had a toddler preventing me by hurling Leggos at my head. As if these killer moves aren't hard enough without friendly fire in my temporal lobes. I plan to get back to it tomorrow. Have yet to make it through the entire DVD, but will.

2-8-09
Made it through the whole video today! Hip hip hooray! It's the first time that I have hope that this will work for me and change my body back to the butterfly it once was...or at least get me less caterpillar looking. The arms and legs part is more manageable for me than the abs. That is killer and my weakest body part. But the other is great for a dancers muscle memory.

2-17-09
Regarding this "exercise thing.": I have barely made it through three times a week. At some point during every workout with Tracy I actually believe that I am going to die. Which is still a step above yoga which sent me to a coma before killing me (not a yoga fan).

I still have sweat dripping in my ears. Body maintenance is so UN attractive! But I love the way my muscles feel after doing her routine, it's just getting through it that I struggle with. ps her arm routine is the simplest and most effective I have ever done...but none of it is "easy."

2-23-09
Hubby said he is impressed with how defined my stomach is getting. I think he's just trying to seduce me (it's working). I am now at the point where I can get through the entire DVD (60 mins) each time, but I do need to go at a slower pace (so it takes me about 90mins with breaks). There are still about 2 or 3 moves that I skip or modify beyond recognition, but hey, a gals got to do what she can to stay in the game.

Good news is: I crave these workouts. I love the way I feel after one and for the rest of the day. I still need a day off to recover after a day of working out, but I know my recovery time is getting shorter. I am fully committed to this as I find myself skipping things I love in place of rest to prepare for exercise.

I am asking for the cardio workout Tracy suggests, as a birthday gift from hubby. I think I'll get it.

Took a tour of the nearest ballet academy today and am dreaming about taking classes again. May still be a few months from now. We'll see. I feel hopeful. It's a nice feeling.

So Long Sensa, My Sense, Ahh!

I used Sensa for exactly one week.

After I wrote my first post for Sensa, which was exceedingly positive, I went to bed that night and had one of the most frightening, disturbing dreams of my life.

In my dream I was walking with the Reiki Master I recently began studying with. She turned to me and said, "I think you have breast cancer, let's go see a doctor."

In my dream, we walked into a doctor's office and I saw not one but two different doctors for the standard "second opinion." Both doctors in my nightmare informed me that I did in fact have breast cancer in my right breast and that it was terminal. I was told that I only had a few weeks to live. When I asked how it was possible that I could have such an advanced stage of cancer in such a short amount of time, I was told that it was due to a vanity product I had been consuming.

I awoke abruptly in a stark, cold alertness. The only product that I was currently consuming that could be considered a "vanity product' was the Sensa.

As a descendent from a long line of matriarchs with prophetic visions, dreams are not something I take lightly or write off as mere symbolic metaphors. I heed them for the warnings they are and have been in my personal experience. So while I believe that Sensa was working for me, I have chosen to stop taking it.

Even though I only consumed Sensa for about seven days, I did gain positive results that have far exceeded that time period. In just one week, with the assistance of Sensa, I was able to stop the momentum of eating more than I should at any given sitting. I also broke the break neck eating pace that busy mothers often inherit after giving birth. That food shoveling routine for energy sake that comes from never knowing when one will have a chance to separate from child in order to eat. Sensa has given me the gift of experiencing food in a healthy manner, thus a renewed, "Sense…ahhh". For that, I am grateful.

And while I must say, So Long Sensa, I am still committed to this personal release party. I have created my own diet which someone before me probably already created, which I am calling The Never Starve, Never Stuff Diet. On the good Ol' NSNS Diet I am eating the same total daily amount of food as I did on Sensa but just smaller servings, more often. I am finding that as long as I never wait until I'm hungry to eat or eat to the point of being stuffed, I am still losing weight.

In addition to my new eating routine, I am also going to begin a new exercise program. I have always been an active person, taking daily or nightly walks on the beach. Each year I also trade in my old exercise DVDs for new ones. I am particularly fond of BeachBody.com DVDs. This year I have chosen the Core Rhythms, Latin dance inspired series.

I'll get back to you on January 15 with an update. Let's keep inspiring each other to stay on track and be accountable for treating ourselves with the respect, kindness, love and fun factor we deserve.

Happy Healthy Holidays!

Sensa Release Party Update

I began taking it on November 15 and today, Wednesday, November 19, five days later, I dropped an entire pant size. My weight is still in its normal range of fluctuation but I find I have more energy and less cravings. I am still eating anything I want, all the foods I'd have to give up on other weight loss programs, and that has been an incredible psychological gift. When I feel I have permission to have "bad foods" my inner child doesn't overindulge just to rebel, it actually chooses to eat in moderation. I am also finding that I am eating about a third less food than I used to and I'm comfortably going longer between each meal.

It took a few days to get in the mindset of habitually putting the tastants on every single thing I eat, but now it's second nature. It's a fun conversational piece which I'm sure will gain more merit if my success continues. I feel hopeful and grateful. I do find myself saying quiet mantras as companion to the system: I lovingly release my excess weight while I move toward the healthiest version of me.

Join My Release Party!

Even though my daughter is about to turn two, I still look like I'm about four months pregnant. So, when the opportunity presented itself to try a new weight loss product, Sensa, that did not require dieting as the holidays approached, I thought to myself, what do I have to lose other than a few pounds?

I'm addicted to positive outcomes, especially the likes of dramatic testimonials, and really noticed myself starting to believe that the caliber of success I was watching in the Sensa promo, could also be my own. But before I could imagine my own dramatic before and after picture, I was given a steadfast reality barometer as the words "Results not typical" appeared on the screen. Of course, those words appear on all the commercials for weight loss programs, from Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, Weight Watchers to numerous exercise programs. The trick I told myself to move past this amygdala kill joy is that I am not typical!

I have set a start date of November 15, and will report back on January 15, with my results. I'd love to have some companions on this release party, if you will. "Weight loss" seems like I'm losing something. "Release party" feel like I'm about to regain some of the freedoms I once had: More energy, smaller clothes and a return to my own personal homeostasis.

To join me, you and your loved ones can use the promo code offered through BettyConfidential.Com